Do You Feel Alone In Life?
You may be surrounded by friends, family, or work acquaintances.
But maybe you feel alone in your struggles.
Men’s counseling can help.
John was dealing with a lonely marriage. His wife was threatening to leave him. She said he was tired of his angry outbursts. On top of that, he was struggling with a new promotion at work, and he wasn’t getting along with his boss. He’d started yelling at his wife more, and his kids were starting to avoid him.
Rick was in his junior year of college. He was struggling with his classes, falling further and further behind. He was drinking more than he used to, and he found himself staying up late at night playing video games, then sleeping in and missing classes. He was starting to fail his classes, and his parents were upset. So was he. This wasn’t what he’d envisioned when he’d started the year….
John and Rick aren’t actual people, but they represent some of the issues that men deal with when they come to my office.
What Kinds Of Problems Bring Men To Counseling?
There can be all sorts of problems. Here are some issues men have talked about in my office:
- marriage problems
- anger difficulties
- a recent separation
- stress and burnout from work
- alcohol abuse
- porn addiction
- anxiety and panic
- feeling stuck in life
- a recent breakup
- academic difficulties in college
- executive function difficulties (staying organized, planning, getting things done)
I’m Not Crazy, Am I?
We often feel craziest when we’re alone with our problems.
We’ve tried every kind of way that we know to solve our problems.
But the more we try, the more defeated we feel.
Alone at night, or during the day, our thoughts run like a hamster on a hamster wheel.
And that’s when we can start questioning our sanity.
You’re Not Alone
Believe it or not, you’re not alone!
According to a study cited by Good Therapy, over 14% of men experience some type of mental health problem.
That’s almost 2 in every 10 men!
Thanks to increased education, more and more men are comfortable seeking counseling as well.
On the one hand, there are stereotypes we often have about counseling: lying on a couch, being scolded by a cold, clinical shrink, or being over-analyzed.
On the other hand, more and more men are realizing that life coaching is part of a good business decision.
The most successful people in all walks of life have personal coaches, whether for business, public speaking, or finances.
You are just as important as your business, your public speaking, or your finances!
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
Men’s Counseling Can Help You Move Forward With Your Life
Why do I believe this?
First, because I’ve chosen to go to counseling at different points in my life.
And I still go at different times, to process through things I’m helping others with in counseling, or to work on things in my own life!
Talking things out in counseling has given me insight into my own behavior patterns, helped me work through grief, and taught me life lessons that have helped me be a better husband, employee, therapist, and father.
Second, I believe counseling because I’ve seen these same positive results happen for men who’ve come to my office.
I’ve seen them take on new challenges, develop new perspectives, and go from managing problems to developing opportunities.
You May Have More Questions About Men’s Counseling…
“What’s The First Session Like?”
My main objective during our first session together is to help you feel as comfortable as possible.
This session is your chance to tell your story.
You may be surprised that “telling your story” may take more than just one session.
Many times, we’ve had a number of thoughts and feelings stored up for so long that it may take a while to get everything out.
The One Year From Today Question:
One of my favorite questions to ask you on your first session is this:
“If we were meeting (one) year from today—and you were to look back over (that one) year to today—what has to have happened during that period, both personally and professionally, for you to feel happy about your progress?” (source: Strategic Coach)
This question helps you imagine the outcomes you want for yourself.
When you tell me your story, I can better understand your current scenario.
When you answer the One Year from Today question, I can better understand your preferred scenario.
And counseling is the work of developing a plan to get you from your Current Scenario to your Future Scenario.
“What’s Your Approach?”
My approach depends a lot on you!
Some guys like to keep counseling strongly goal and action oriented.
Other guys want some time to talk things out.
It really depends on the nature of your problem along with your own personal style.
I always want to strike a balance between making sure we are talking about your goals and progress, but also giving you time to talk things out.
I tend to use cognitive behavioral therapy quite a bit.
I find that men tend to like this approach because it’s practical, focuses on your present situations, and is action oriented.
“How Long Does Counseling Last?”
Here’s what I tell a lot of people.
Let’s try three sessions and re-visit our progress at that point.
Three sessions is a good amount of time for me to hear your story and your problem situation.
Sometimes I may think you need more specialized help, in which case I may refer you to someone I think can do a better job.
Many times, we’ll agree that things are going well, and we’ll decide upon a number of sessions, say six sessions to see if we can accomplish the goals you and I set together.
Your Progress Is Up To You!
You know those accelerated classes offered at certain universities?
You cram a lot of knowlege into a short amount of time!
I like therapy workbooks, because they’re written by experts who often have studied depression, anxiety, or other challenges.
So often I will suggest a therapy workbook for you to purchase so that you can do learning and skill building in between our therapy sessions.
If you put the work in, this may shorten the amount of sessions.
Some men really like this approach.
Other guys tell me, “I don’t have time to do a lot of learning and writing in between sessions.”
In that case, just keep in mind that we’ll do the work in session, and therapy may take a few more sessions than if you were using a workbook.
Getting Help, Moving Forward
Remember John and Rick, who I talked about at the beginning of this article?
They’re fictional characters, but they represent a composite of guys who’ve come through my office over the years.
Time after time, I see guys develop insight as they talk about their current situtations.
They learn the principles of changing their thoughts and behavior.
They start seeing better results in their lives, and it results in better well-being, better health, and better relationships.
Not always, mind you! Sometimes a relationship or other situation is beyond repair. BUT, you can always learn to handle things in ways that will help you rather than hurt you.
You Can Move Forward In Your Life
You can schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to find get to know me and tell me what is going on for you.
You can also call me, Office 847.737.5277, ext. 113, Cell 847.571.0274 or email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) or fill out the contact form below. (Please keep your message fairly general, as we can talk more specifically via phone. I want to protect your privacy as much as possible)